Sunday, April 6, 2014

Omg, these damn pigeons need to leave. They make like mating noises all the time… fml. Anyways… Last night was fun. SAAing for KIWIN’s DCON. We really didn’t do much, but it was a really great way to bond with other Circle K’ers which I really like. I really like how Jerry separated me, Diego, and Lissette so that we could mingle with other people. I was paired with Stephanie, but our position was really boring so I moved to different floors a lot. I’m really glad I went because it made me realize how much I love Berkeley people. They’re pretty awesome. Really hoping to see them more often. Hooray for making new friends!

The more I think about it, the more I feel I made the right decision. I am honestly so much happier now that i’m not going to that church. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that going to that place was so harmful to my health. This weekend definitely made me realize that there is so much more to life than this. I realized that I was not even taking care of myself, I was neglecting my other friends and family. I am now making efforts to change that. As for my faith in God, I believe he still exists. I believe that last week was just a wake-up call. Hoping to get my life back in order soon.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Surprise surprise. I am not writing on a Monday, but a Saturday. I held my first meeting yesterday.. Got the bell stolen and had to do the “Magikarp.” Ughhh, my lifeee. Haha, anywho. I gotta stop being so awkward. I think that it’s funny, but get’s tiring to a certain extent. Let’s work on being confident when meeting and greeting people. It was pretty weird not going to church yesterday. After going to church twice a week for 2 years, if kind of felt good getting to do my own thing for once. I got to hang out with Stephanie. It’s been a while, but it was nice getting to chill with her. Hopefully, we’ll be able to go to the mines next time. I realized that I haven’t been taking care of myself lately. Hopefully with the time I have now, I will be able to be more healthy and strong mentally, physically, and emotionally. Starting the beginners workout calendar for the millionth time. Hopefully, I will be able to get through it this time. Feeling great after finishing the workout. Let’s not make excuses. Starting today, let’s eat healthy and workout regularly. You can’t be skinny forever. Anywho, I should really study, but I think i’ll just do it tomorrow. I don’t think i’ll be able to get much done anyway. Welp, off to Lissette’s to hangout and then to SAA in San Ramon!

Monday, March 31, 2014

Lol, I just realized it’s been exactly a week since i’ve written here. Maybe all my thoughts come after Sundays. Hmm… Anyways… I haven’t been feeling like myself since yesterday. I don’t know, I just feel like a completely different person. I actually feel like a zombie. During praise, I did not feel the holy spirit with me. I could not pay attention to the sermon. I always question myself when it comes to church. Why am I still attending this church? Why did I sing at retreat? Why did I join praise team? I used to think it was because I felt like a part of something. A family. The more I think about it, everything was just a complete lie. I only saw what I wanted to see and that was the end of that. You know, life was pretty great until I talked to Alex.. Why did he have to get me into this mess.. Well, it’s my fault for wanting to know things I guess.. Why did I date Jason? Was it because I wanted to feel more secure at church? Was it because I thought this was what God was telling me to do? Why did I let the pastor talk me into staying? I have no idea. I just wish that this year would go by and I don’t have to deal with this anymore. Am I running away? Maybe. Once I told pastor I needed a break, I felt a million times better. Maybe this church is the cause of my problems. Anywho, I think I did what was best for me and now I can focus on more important things. Like me. I really gotta work on taking care of me before I even thinking of leading this club.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Today, I feel different. Maybe it’s because I am officially a club president. Something I would have never imagined in a million years. I am currently planning on having 1 on 1’s with my executive board officers this week. I plan on getting to know them so that I will be able to have a better understanding of everyone’s schedules and how they work. I am really excited for the new year, but I am also afraid since a lot of us are new to the club. Nevertheless, I know that everything will be okay and we will get the help we need because I believe in our LTG. I believe that she will do her best to unite the division so that we will be able to help each other through thick and thin and be able to call ourselves a family. I feel as a leader, I must set an example for others. I want to be able to be the best I can be. Starting with academics and health.

My sister came home today. Totally forgot she was coming down for spring break. Sometimes, I forget I have an older sister. Only because we are both really busy with life and everything and don’t have time to talk. But I do enjoy the talks we have when we are together. I am really glad I am starting to see my sister mature day by day. I am really proud of her. I really hope that she will be able to get her life together and pursue her dream career. Finished most of the Circle K stuff for the day. It’s crazy how time consuming it is and how I don’t even notice how fast time flies. If only I put in at least half the effort I put into Circle K into school..